My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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