walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
