Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
