My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
