You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
