Just fell off a train. Bad.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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