I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
