Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
