You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize