he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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