She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
