Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
