I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
