I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My pussy is not your playground.
vagina is talking i cant
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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