we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
