he shaved USA in his pubs
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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