ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We talked him into tasing himself.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
