do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
