I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
