She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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