Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
