i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she peed on how many people?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
