this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
