Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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