bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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