worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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