so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
