life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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