yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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