Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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