I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
