i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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