It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
