is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
