Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How's work?
Spinning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They are going to name an STD after you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
