Sponge bath it is.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
