either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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