What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
