He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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