what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
