I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
