in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
