I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
