I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize