You made me cry and you don't even care
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize