Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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