I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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