dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
