If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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