we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
