Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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