Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
