Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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