He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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