Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
