My sheets look like a crime scene.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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