OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
