Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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