you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
