i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
