I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
