I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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