I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
