Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
