real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
