This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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