roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
