I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
