Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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